Rambling

So,
Look how fast I'm posting! I'd like to say that this is going to be a regular thing but, knowing me, it probably won't. I actually wanted to take the time to write something that's been on my mind for the last few days. I promise it won't be long and most of it will just be rambling so feel free not to read it.

I guess I'll start with last year when I first officially decided I wanted to come to Spain. At the time, I was only planning on studying for a semester but I was having a lot of trouble deciding on which one. I ended up choosing the first semester because I honestly was so excited I just couldn't wait an extra six months. Plus, that would mean I could spend Christmas and my birthday with family, would allow me to rejoin swim team before it ended and, it would mean I could go to prom.

Prom.

When I first told people I was actually changing my plan and going for an entire year instead of a semester, there were mixed responses. Obviously, there were the normal concerns about school and missing my family but, one of the main questions I got from people (mostly girls) was “..but what about prom? Is there prom in Spain? You can't miss prom!”

No joke.

Not to say that these people were being completely unreasonable. At the time, my concern about missing prom was just as big as theirs. I'd respond with things like “I know! It's terrible!” or “Hopefully they'll have prom in Spain” I was honestly letting one dance be a factor in my decision to study abroad for an entire year. Thinking back, I'm pretty sure most of this irrational thinking came from the fear of leaving and the upcoming changes that were about to occur. I was worried to be doing something so completely different from everyone else and the consequences I would face if I were to for some reason not be able to complete the year.

Again, I don't mean to sound like prom isn't important or amazing. Looking at all the prom pictures on Facebook, a huge wave of homesickness came over me. All I wanted to do was be home with everyone else getting ready for probably the most anticipated event of the entire year. There was even one moment when I thought to myself “Wow, those guys were right, I should have waited to go a different year, I can't believe I'm missing out on this!” I remained in this state of depression all the way until the next day when I woke up, and completely forgot about it. Prom was over and I was still here, still in Spain enjoying every minute of my last few weeks.

The point I want to make with this little story is that, for anyone who's contemplating studying abroad or who has a friend who's maybe thinking about doing it, do NOT let any small thing like an event or party influence your /their decision. That one event is most likey just some sort of shield to hide from fear. This time last year, prom seemed like it was so important that it could actually have an influence on my plans for this year. Looking back, even though I'm still really excited for prom and many other events of senior year, I now realize how silly I was being for making such little things so important. The fact is, that while those events seem important at the time, they're really not. Not one thing by itself could ever be more memorable than the year I've spent here. While at first I thought maybe prom or spirit week could, they couldn't. The two things just can't compare.

To end this random thought process that really didn't have to do with anything,

I'll leave you with a quote I recently read that inspired this whole blog post. Reading this me made me think back to my worries about prom and other stuff and realize that, in order to live life to the fullest, (not to be extremely cliché or anything) I need to stop over thinking and worrying about everything and continue to take more adventures and risks like the one I took signing up for this year. Of course, this whole life-fulfillness thing didn't just dawn on me in Spain. Obviously I'd heard the stories from adults, warning us kids not to let life pass us by, but I guess it just never really resonated until now. The risk I took this year has so far been by far the most rewarding experience of my life and while I am very sad to have this chapter of my life come to an end, I'm also very excited to see what is up next for me.

Anyways,
Here's the quote..

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

^Yes I know that didn't really have anything to do with my post but, having so many endless hours to think in class somehow led me from that quote to this post

Thanks for reading!