So..
I've actually been dreading writing this blog post for a few reasons.
- My week has been extremely boring. Basically, after school, I've been spending every afternoon studying for this huge economy test I had today which I ended up failing. No matter how hard I try, I'm pretty sure I will never understand economy. Especially since this is my first economy class and I'm taking it in Spanish. Studying for a test in Spanish is a lot different than studying in English. It's extremely frustrating because no matter how hard or long I study for, I still can never be fully prepared. Google translate only goes so far. Basically, after I attempted to read the text book on my own, I had to give up and type everything into Google Translate. I'm pretty sure I listened to the entire new Coldplay album five times doing this. Ten pages, 4 hours, and ten pieces of gum later, I was finally able to put everything into Google Translate. After that, I had to read all the information, try to understand it, and hand-write it in English so that I would have it for class. It was torture. Normally, I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble considering I hate economy, but last week my teacher told me I wasn't trying hard enough and that I needed to participate more. She told me that she thought I wasn't learning as fast as the other exchange students and that I should work harder. I took this personally considering I have been working extremely hard trying to do all the assignments I've been given. So of course, I took this as a challenge and worked all week trying to learn everything there is to know about the “fundamentals of economy.” Luckily, even though I'm pretty sure I failed, I was able to answer all of the multiple choice questions and some of the definitions which was better than I was expecting.
- I'm awkwardly starting to forget English. I obviously don't mean the actual language but more certain phrases and words. For example, I spent about 5 minutes during my economy test trying to figure out I business had one “s” or two. (I was looking it up in my span-eng dictionary). Normally I would be laughing at myself right now, but I'm actually concerned. This has been a problem with me all week. I sometimes can't remember how to structure a sentence correctly. Anyone who has talked to me on Skype knows that my grammar lately has been much worse than usual. I'm not trying to brag by saying “oh yeah, six weeks, already fluent in Spanish, basically a genius.” No. My Spanish, while having greatly improved, is still terrible. I'm in this weird state where my thoughts are a mix of Spanish and English and only I would understand it. There is no grammar structure just words in both languages mixed together to make a thought. When I speak, I have no problem forming an English sentence, and usually a Spanish sentence (if it's a basic one). It's when I want to write something that I have trouble. Another example being right now, I have this weird feeling about every sentence I write that something is wrong. I am constantly mixing up words in sentences and it always takes me a moment to figure out the correct phrasing. It's extremely frustrating. I feel as though I don't know Spanish or English. I'm hoping this is just a phase and that eventually I'll be fluent in both languages and not just one or the other.
- These blog posts take me forever to write. If you're wondering why I've only been writing once a week, it's because trying to think of something somewhat interesting to say is an exhausting process that takes a really long time. I usually just give up and write about boring things like my economy test..
In other news, this weekend is a long weekend which means that I have Halloween and the day after Halloween off. I don't know why we have these days off but I'm pretty sure it's not because of Halloween. If it is, then Yarmouth really needs to take after Spain and make Halloween a vacation day. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing on this wonderfully long weekend, but hopefully something that involves costumes, scary movies, and candy because anyone who has spent Halloween with me knows that it's just not okay if I can't watch at least one scary movie and eat at least about a million pieces of candy.
Anyways,
Because I don't have any more Economy I don't really have an excuse not to swim so....
I guess I'll go do that
Adiosss
I hope everyone has a spectacular Halloween :)
Hi Libby! It's Mrs. O'Neill and I just wanted to say hi and wish you a Happy Halloween! I was making up little Halloween goodie bags for our advisor (shhh....) and was just missing you and the fact that I couldn't send a little goodie bag to you via carrier pigeon. :). You have been greatly missed in our advisor--your sense of humor, your good will, basically we just plain old miss you. Hang in there with the Spanish and English (your English won't go away nor will your grammar--it's just your mind making the difficult adjustment to a new language)...just trust that good brain of yours and let it make the adjustment it needs to make--it's a HUGE conscious/subconscious shift that it's adjusting to, so OF COURSE, there will be wacky weird things you can't remember or create. Just go with the flow and trust that for right now your job is to learn Spanish but in the big picture your mind will be able to do both English and Spanish quite well! And, though your Spanish might feel "bad" just trust that you're coming along at your own pace and that the "clicks" will happen as you go--I think you're probably comparing yourself to other people, but just compare yourself to you and be happy at how brave, ambitious, and amazing you are to have put yourself in a new home, new school, new culture, new language--WOW! You've only been there TWO MONTHS, so be patient--you're amazing so don't forget it. WE MISS YOU! Love, Mrs. O
ReplyDeleteDearest Libby,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with what Mrs. O'Neill says. Her extremely appropriate--and eloquent--response hit the nail on the head.
May I just say as someone who has spent weeks in countries with tonal language systems AND tired to start several travel blogs, I am in awe of you. How in heaven's name do you handle all the acclamations that come with living in a new country, away from your friends and family, in a language you are not yet fluent in AND KEEP UP A BLOG? What?! Most college graduates (cough) couldn't juggle all of that if they tried.
Other thoughts: I have read your blog from start to finish, and look forward to your latest posts like a kid waiting for their favorite magazine to arrive in the mail. I would say the frequency is perfect--not so infrequent that we wonder if you've give up; not so frequent that the posts become stale. And the subject matter? Girl, most of us have never even been to Spain, let alone SPENT A YEAR THERE. I don't care if you talk about the quality of their toilet paper--I'm hooked. And as Mrs. O'Neill said, do NOT worry about your mind--there are literally hundreds of travel memoirs that devote at least a section to what happens to your brain/sense of being as you transition to lands outside of your native tongue.
Have you ever read anything by Jhumpa Lahiri? My favorite is her collection of shorts entitled _Unaccustomed Earth_. She talks about Bengali immigrants transitioning in US culture, but, it's definitely a familiar feel. For stories that are slightly more literal to your experience, try anything by Mavis Gallant--she ran off to Europe as an au pair around your age. Both of these authors are mainly fiction, but, I believe their words strike chords as deeply as your own.
You are wonderful, lady. Keep up the excellent work (and take it easy on yourself!).
Many hugs.
Mrs. O'Neill,
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear from you! I've been meaning to thank you for the backpack you got me. It was definitely the perfect gift. I miss our advisor very much. Life just isn't the same without weekly Scattegories and donuts. Thank you for the advice about balancing Spanish and English. I'm trying to remember everything you taught me, but it's very difficult as you can probably tell from my writing. I would love to do an advisor skype chat as soon as possible. :)
Jessica,
Thank you for writing that comment. I have so much trouble writing this blog because I never know if anything I'm saying is actually worth reading. Now that I know at least one person is interested I'll make sure to keep blogging. I haven't read anything by these authors, but I've been looking for new things to read so I'll make sure to check them out.
Thank you again for taking the time to write these comments.
Love,
Libby